Here and Now: MOCA Taipei Solo Exhibition
Here and Now
By Chen Hui-chiao 2006/5/21
All stories were once a feeling in the gut, invisible, transient memories. It is a truly ancient feeling. Maybe it is a feeling in the guts, a sense of “ethereal nothingness”, and a wholeness that comes into existence as part of countless individual situations mixed together. Perhaps these inner feelings are themselves the product if some magical process of distillation inside the body, so that the more you strive to analyze its constituent elements, the harder it becomes to grasp something taken entirely for granted. In other words, one comes increasingly to realize or feel that something never really took place, except in the imagination. Maybe this is just a story but “at this moment in time” the only remaining truth is the story.
‘Grandma, look, the stars are dropping from the sky. I am going to grab it!’
‘No, silly girl, those are not stars; they are fireflies, fire fairies from the darkness…Do you know what the stars are? They are the silver dust of God’s blessing. They are little broken bits of heaven, falling down on us as blessing. God realizes how wicked we are, he changes his mind and orders the stars to stop. That is why the stars hang down from the sky, looking like any minute they could drop…’
Fairy-tale words, fairy-tale advice. We live in a fairy-tale place, far away from the world. Up above, the sky swarmed with stars, multiplied as we look up, thorny as the thistle on the ground. Not that I am superstitious about the stars, but it is my way making things magical and mystical. When you stand still and look at them, you close one eye and fall prey to futile meditations, losing all perspective.
One night last midsummer, when God withheld the blessing, the star were shining in the sky. There is a sense of ‘deja vu’, a message originated in distant memories, dreamt; an old inner soul, my own subconscious belief in Gods. I found myself listening to a voice from some strange unknown place-- Go, do it, make the step, you must break through to reach the absolute, then you will be instantly enlightened.
‘I know you put great strength of belief in the stars…’ he said.
Yes, I believe all events exist here and now. Even if I don’t understand the movements of celestial bodies in the universe, stars have certainly provided me various opportunities to explore and learn new things.
‘But I do not forget you, as you are my main friend in that part of the world…thank you for bringing some colour to my day’ he had said. Yeah, knowing me, knowing you. I chanced to meet an old friend in the midst of an air route; he is a seer of mine from the sky, between the thistle and silver dust, light the way for my chosen direction. Perhaps all my imagination of the stars began with magical and mystical ever since I was five! I could never forget that moment I was about to grab the star, I was afraid to be burnt by the shining being, instead fanning it away and letting it go!